Guys, as you age, some things change, but other things stay exactly the same. One thing in particular doesn’t change: That is your ability to enjoy sexual sensation. Once you hit 50+, lovemaking can become a very different thing to what you remember from your 20s: Now sex feels like exercise, and although you may not feel as rambunctious as you once did, if you are in shape you can still jog around the block a few times if you know what I mean. You may need to change your habits in order to age gracefully and still maintain a healthy sex life. Below you will find five things to help you out with that:
1. Your not a kid any more, so don’t expect yourself to perform like one. By the time you are into your 40s and 50s you will likely notice that your erections are not as firm as they used to be and that they happen less often. Fantasizing may no longer be enough for you. You probably need a lot of foreplay to be able to achieve a satisfactory erection. Don’t be surprised if you begin to lose your erection from such simple things as your phone or doorbell ringing. These changes are to be expected. These are not the symptoms of erectile dysfunction (ED) and so do not become overcome with anxiousness because that will only makes it worse. Being anxious constricts the arteries in your pelvis which means that blood cannot get to your penis. If blood can’t make it to your penis, you will not get an erection. It’s as simple as that.
There are other medical conditions which may cause full or partial ED including: high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, increased levels of cholesterol and obesity.
2. You are, however, still the same person. If you’ve always had problems with PE or ED, they are likely to continue or resurface later on in life. Research indicates that close to 1/3 of all men aged 18-49 experience premature ejaculation(PE) at least once a year. Let’s face it guys, sometimes it happens. If it happened when you were 18 it may happen throughout your life or return as you get older. Later studies showed that premature ejaculation affects between 22-31% of all men aged 50-85, so this is clearly an issue that affects men their whole lives.
There are two main causes of PE: feelings of anxiousness or insecurity and overstimulation of the penis during sex. Anxiety makes a man’s nerves oversensitive. If you add to that problem the fact that very often men feel sex focuses solely on their penis’ ability to perform, it can lead to too much direct stimulation to quickly. Slow it down a bit and focus on other areas for a while before getting to the penis.
When you were young you may have been anxious about having sex and thought: Will she even agree to have sex? Will I be any good?
As you age your anxieties and insecurities don’t go away, they just change: Will I be able to “get it up”? If I do, will it stay up?
Everywhere you look in our culture you will see sex. It’s a well known fact that sex sells and that means it is in advertising, entertainment, art and pretty much anywhere else you can think of. unfortunately this puts undue stress on both men and women to perform to the unrealistic images they see in the media. For men, this often means that there is a lot of pressure on your penis to perform like a celebrity. But sexual sensation is not located solely in the penis. Take your time. Explore the other erogenous zones of the body and focus less on the penis. A penis under less pressure is less likely to PE!
3. The main attraction may change. If you are like most people, then when you think of sex, you think of intercourse. But after the reproductive years, there may be many barriers to having intercourse. If you are a man, ED and poor quality of erections may become an issue. If you are an older women, you may develop vaginal dryness and atrophy (thinning and inflammation of the vaginal lining), both of which can make intercourse extremely uncomfortable or even impossible, despite the use of lubricants.
4. You don’t need to rely on ED drugs. The fact that you are aging is not a sure sign that you will have to pop ED pills in order to continue having sex. In the truth, few men your age (40-50+) have used them at all, let alone on a regular basis! Research in Germany suggests that 40% of older men experience ED, but although 96% of the men studied could name at least one ED medication, less than 105 had actually tried one of those treatments! At Cornell a study showed that half of older men complain of having ED of one form or another, but only 7% had tried drugs for their ED issues. It’s hard to draw a direct conclusion about the reason those men had not tried drugs to treat their ED from these studies, but it does make you think that it is likely that they are seeking alternative treatments, that while ED does affect them, it doesn’t do so all the time or that they feel a diminished need for sex. Whatever the reason is for not taking drugs, you don’t have to feel alone in feeling uncomfortable taking drugs and you certainly should never feel pressured into taking drugs to treat you ED.
5. Men and women are more in sync. When you were young, your sexual partner probably wished you could last a bit longer. Most young men take less time to get aroused than most young women do. As you age, it takes longer for you to become aroused and this puts you more in sync with your sexual partner. Being able to last longer also means the likelihood is higher that you will both enjoy the experience equally. If you and your partner can learn to appreciate each other’s sexual response and prolong it then you will enjoy a long and happy sex life together.